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Is your husband the kind of person who’s nervous about running into his bros while accompanying you to buy a refill of feather hair extensions at Claire’s? Does he hold up padded bras and do a stupid dance while at Victoria’s Secret as a little clown to distract from his half-chub? Is his favorite show King of Queens or Kevin Can Wait—or both? Sounds like he’s just the right demographic for a Husband Pod.
The Telegraph, translating from state-run site the Paper, reports that the Global Harbour mall in Shanghai, China is testing this new pilot program of baby bouncers for stupid adults, in the form of four glass pods where men (or theoretically women) can go to play video games while their wives shop. God forbid they spend one minute participating in an activity that doesn’t specifically revolve around feeding them sexually, emotionally, or spiritually!!!
One shopper, Mr. Wu, reportedly loves the “husband rest cabin.”
“I do not like to accompany my girlfriend shopping, so whenever we go out shopping I will look for a movie to see or find a place to eat and sit,” he said, according to the Telegraph.
“Sometimes when my girlfriend is shopping I play on my mobile phone, but now the mall has a machine, I can let my girlfriend feel at ease shopping.”
Oh, so this is for your girlfriend’s sake, Mr. Wu? This is actually you being kind and selfless so she can have a stress-free shopping experience, Mr. Wu?! So she doesn’t have to deal with you tugging on her shirt and silently saying, “Bitch, bitch, bitch,” and asking to go home for a sausage and peppers sandwich and turn on the hockey match, Mr. Wu?!
The BBC reports (also from the Paper) that Mr. Wu (another or the same one, I couldn’t say) said that the pods could be improved. “There’s no ventilation or air conditioning, I sat playing for five minutes and was drenched in sweat.”
I’m sure that’s not the only thing you’ve tried for five minutes before complaining of being tired and sweaty, Mr. Wu!!!!!!!!!!
Husbands, support your wives.